Stephen colbert Quotes

"There's an old saying about those...

"There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good." โ€” Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 03
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โ€œHereโ€™s an easy way to figure out if youโ€™re...

โ€œHereโ€™s an easy way to figure out if youโ€™re in a cult: If youโ€™re wondering whether youโ€™re in a cult, the answer is yes.โ€ โ€”Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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"Equations are t...

"Equations are the devil's sentences." โ€” Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 12
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"If our Founding Fathers wanted to care about...

"If our Founding Fathers wanted to care about the rest of the world, they wouldnt have declared their independence from it." - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 15
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On this show, your voice will be...

On this show, your voice will be heard โ€” in the form of my voice. โ€”Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 30
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So many people believe the crown prince [of Saudi Arabia] was involve...

So many people believe the crown prince [of Saudi Arabia] was involved in the killing [of Jamal Khashoggi] that Washington insiders joke that M.B.S [Mohammad bin Salman]stands for Mister Bone Saw ~ Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18
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โ€œHereโ€™s an easy way to figure out if youโ€™re ...

โ€œHereโ€™s an easy way to figure out if youโ€™re in a cult: If youโ€™re wondering whether youโ€™re in a cult, the answer is yes.โ€ โ€” Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11
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"As an optimist i don't think i h...

"As an optimist i don't think i have a drinking problem, i have a drinking opportunity" - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25
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"Folks, I don't trust ch...

"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us." - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 20
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"The only thing [Trump's] mouth...

"The only thing [Trump's] mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock holster.โ€ Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 06
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Love does not despair. Lo...

Love does not despair. Love gives us hope that change is possible- Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 23
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"Our never ending war on terror is bound...

"Our never ending war on terror is bound to have a few casualties, one of them happens to be the constitution." Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 09
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"Quitters never win.... Unl...

"Quitters never win.... Unless they're competing in a quitting contest." -Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 20
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A definition of insanity is changi...

A definition of insanity is changing nothing and then pretending that something will change - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 04
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"Be a fool. Belie...

"Be a fool. Believe things will be good." - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26
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And that is the most importan...

And that is the most important human ethical lesson, never trust human ethics ~Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 19
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"It is a well known fa...

"It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias." โ€” Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 13
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โ€œAs a Christian nation shouldn't we keep the deat...

โ€œAs a Christian nation shouldn't we keep the death penalty? Shouldn't weโ€ฆbecause without the death penalty we would not have a religion.โ€ - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 06
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"I believed in global warming afte...

"I believed in global warming after Al Gore's movie made money; the market had spoken." - Stephen Colbert
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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