Stephen colbert Quotes

"There's an old saying about those...

"There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good." — Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Jan 03
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“Here’s an easy way to figure out if you’re...

“Here’s an easy way to figure out if you’re in a cult: If you’re wondering whether you’re in a cult, the answer is yes.” —Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Jun 22
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"Equations are t...

"Equations are the devil's sentences." — Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Oct 12
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"If our Founding Fathers wanted to care about...

"If our Founding Fathers wanted to care about the rest of the world, they wouldnt have declared their independence from it." - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Aug 15
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On this show, your voice will be...

On this show, your voice will be heard — in the form of my voice. —Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report
📅︎ Dec 30
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So many people believe the crown prince [of Saudi Arabia] was involve...

So many people believe the crown prince [of Saudi Arabia] was involved in the killing [of Jamal Khashoggi] that Washington insiders joke that M.B.S [Mohammad bin Salman]stands for Mister Bone Saw ~ Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Oct 18
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“Here’s an easy way to figure out if you’re ...

“Here’s an easy way to figure out if you’re in a cult: If you’re wondering whether you’re in a cult, the answer is yes.” — Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Apr 11
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"As an optimist i don't think i h...

"As an optimist i don't think i have a drinking problem, i have a drinking opportunity" - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Jan 25
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"Folks, I don't trust ch...

"Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us." - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Apr 20
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"The only thing [Trump's] mouth...

"The only thing [Trump's] mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock holster.” Stephen Colbert
📅︎ May 06
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Love does not despair. Lo...

Love does not despair. Love gives us hope that change is possible- Stephen Colbert
📅︎ May 23
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"Our never ending war on terror is bound...

"Our never ending war on terror is bound to have a few casualties, one of them happens to be the constitution." Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Mar 09
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"Quitters never win.... Unl...

"Quitters never win.... Unless they're competing in a quitting contest." -Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Mar 20
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A definition of insanity is changi...

A definition of insanity is changing nothing and then pretending that something will change - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Oct 04
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"Be a fool. Belie...

"Be a fool. Believe things will be good." - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Nov 26
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And that is the most importan...

And that is the most important human ethical lesson, never trust human ethics ~Stephen Colbert
📅︎ May 19
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"It is a well known fa...

"It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias." — Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Sep 13
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“As a Christian nation shouldn't we keep the deat...

“As a Christian nation shouldn't we keep the death penalty? Shouldn't we…because without the death penalty we would not have a religion.” - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Mar 06
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"I believed in global warming afte...

"I believed in global warming after Al Gore's movie made money; the market had spoken." - Stephen Colbert
📅︎ Jan 29
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