Simpson Quotes

โ€œYou tried your best and yo...

โ€œYou tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."...Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 12
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โ€œEat my ...

โ€œEat my shorts!โ€ โ€” Mr. Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31
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An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dra...

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that itโ€™s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.โ€ Stephanie Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 17
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"You can't keep blaming you...

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on." -Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 30
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โ€œIt take two to lie....

โ€œIt take two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.โ€ - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 14
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"Sometime, when you least expect it, youโ€™ll realize th...

"Sometime, when you least expect it, youโ€™ll realize that someone loved you. And that means that someone can love you again! And thatโ€™ll make you smile." --Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 12
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โ€œWhen a woman says nothingโ€™s wrong, it means everythingโ€™s wrong. When a...

โ€œWhen a woman says nothingโ€™s wrong, it means everythingโ€™s wrong. When a woman says everythingโ€™s wrong, it means everythingโ€™s wrong. And when a woman says that something isnโ€™t funny, youโ€™d better not laughโ€ ~Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 13
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"Don't keep blaming your...

"Don't keep blaming yourself. Blame yourself once and move on". -Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 18
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'We're going to keep trying to strengthen the A...

'We're going to keep trying to strengthen the American family. To make them more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons.' George Bush Snr., 1992
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20
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โ€œHe who is tired of W...

โ€œHe who is tired of Weird Al, is tired of life itself.โ€ - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 27
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"You can't keep blaming you...

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on." -Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 19
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โ€œIs the poop deck ...

โ€œIs the poop deck really what I think it is?โ€ -Homer J Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 15
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"Wit ought to be five or six degree...

"Wit ought to be five or six degrees above the ideas that form the intelligence of an audience." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19
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Blinkers? What direction I w...

Blinkers? What direction I want to go is my business and noone elses. --Homer Simpson, S30E5
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 27
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โ€œFame was like a drug. But ...

โ€œFame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug was the drugsโ€ โ€” Simpson S11E22
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 20
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"I didn't do it. Nobody ...

"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything."--Bart Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 07
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"Give someone everything and they will gi...

"Give someone everything and they will give you nothing. Give someone nothing and they will give you everything." -- Bart Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 23
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you remind me of a poem I can't remember, an...

you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to. -Abe Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 18
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"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. E...

"Suppose we've chosen the wrong god. Every time we go to church we're just making him madder and madder." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 05
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"Money doesn't change people...

"Money doesn't change people, it just helps them be who they really are." -Grandpa Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 11
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Here's to alcohol: the cause...

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to all of life's problems. Homer Simpson 1987
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26
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"Sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realize th...

"Sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you. And that means that someone can love you again! And that'll make you smile." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31
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โ€œI believe that children ...

โ€œI believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.โ€ - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18
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"That's the great thing about ar...

"That's the great thing about art. Everyone can have their own opinion on why it sucks" - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 25
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โ€œTo alcohol! The cause of.....

โ€œTo alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problemsโ€ - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 27
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Son, if you really want something in this life...

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01
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"Of course I've gone mad with power. You can'...

"Of course I've gone mad with power. You can't go mad without power. It's boring, no one listens to you." - Russ Cargill, The Simpson's Movie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 07
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Trying is the fir...

Trying is the first step towards failure. - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 30
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Individually we are weak, like a sin...

Individually we are weak, like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot. โ€”Martin Prince, The Simpsons
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 07
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"I'm not a bath man ...

"I'm not a bath man myself. More of a cologne man." -Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 08
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"Carnies built this country...the carnival part of...

"Carnies built this country...the carnival part of it, anyway...and though they may be ratlike in appearance, they are truly kings among men." Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 10
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"I will love you as long as ...

"I will love you as long as my heart still beats and my brain still brains." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 08
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[Honesty] "Marge, it takes...

[Honesty] "Marge, it takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen" - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 08
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"I believe that children ...

"I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 21
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"Dear God: we paid for all ...

"Dear God: we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing." --Bart Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26
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โ€บโ€บDon't get mad, ...

โ€บโ€บDon't get mad, get dinnerโ€บโ€บ /Simpson, H. J., s25e6, 2013.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 20
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"You are just as bad as me and...

"You are just as bad as me and you used to be better and that makes you the worse " homer simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25
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"How many personal freedoms a...

"How many personal freedoms are we willing to give up in the name of security?" - Lisa Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 24
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"In a world gone mad o...

"In a world gone mad only a lunatic is truly insane." - Homer J. Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 22
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"Anyone can make a decision if they know what they'r...

"Anyone can make a decision if they know what they're picking. It takes real leadership to pick something you know nothing about." Rush Cargill, The Simpsons Movie
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 14
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"I've always wondered if there...

"I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know. There is, and it's me." ~ Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 13
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What if we are praying to the ...

What if we are praying to the wrong god and just getting him angrier and angrier? --Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 18
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"Heaven knows we're far from perfect and, if truth be known, maybe just...

"Heaven knows we're far from perfect and, if truth be known, maybe just a wee bit short of normal; but as Dr. Seuss says, "a person is a person"." ~ Marge Simpsons reply to Barbara Bush's criticism of the Simpsons family.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 20
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" ... the point of ...

" ... the point of Moby Dick is, โ€œBe yourself.โ€ - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra a...

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 31
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"I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was....

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me, and it'll happen to you, too." ~ Grandpa Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 29
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"It's not enough to wa...

"It's not enough to want a cracker, you have to earn it." โ€“ Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 22
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It takes two to lie....

It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. --Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 17
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Sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realize th...

Sometime, when you least expect it, you'll realize that someone loved you. And that means that someone can love you again! And that'll make you smile. - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 22
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"Trying is the fi...

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Homer simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 07
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"D'oh... my dad is a...

"D'oh... my dad is a failure just like Barts dad." - Homer Simpson.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 23
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"Son, all hobbies suck. But if you keep at ...

"Son, all hobbies suck. But if you keep at it, you might find at the end that you've managed to kill some precious time." -Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 09
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"To alcohol! The cause of...

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 18
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"Why do I need to learn ...

"Why do I need to learn English? I'm never going to England" -Homer J. Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 19
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"What are you, a travel agen...

"What are you, a travel agent? 'Cause you're sending me on a guilt trip." - Homer Simpson.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 24
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โ€œIโ€™m not normally a praying ma...

โ€œIโ€™m not normally a praying man, but if youโ€™re up there, please save me Superman!โ€ Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 14
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"All right, brain, I don't like you and you d...

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." - Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 29
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"Growing up means givin...

"Growing up means giving up everything that makes you happy" - Marge Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 03
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"In a World Gone Mad...

"In a World Gone Mad, Only a Lunatic Is Truly Insane"-Homer Simpson
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 19
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