Rita rudner Quotes

"Most turkeys taste better the...

"Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Sep 26
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"Someday I want to be rich. Some people ge...

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Nov 13
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"Someday I want to be rich. Some people ge...

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jul 05
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"I wonder if other dogs thin...

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Nov 27
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"Before I met my husband, I'd ne...

"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Oct 18
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"Have children while your par...

"Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them." -- Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jul 30
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Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is...

Whenever I date a guy, I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" -- Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jul 04
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"My mother buried three h...

"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jun 02
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"I was going to have cosmetic surgery un...

"I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Aug 17
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"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. ...

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Dec 14
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"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is...

"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'" — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Sep 11
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"I got kicked out of ballet cl...

"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Oct 01
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"I wonder if other dogs thin...

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." — Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jul 18
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"I wonder if other dogs thin...

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner
📅︎ Jun 30
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"When I eventually met Mr. Ri...

"When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always." Rita Rudner
📅︎ Mar 22
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. ...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. -Rita Rudner
📅︎ Mar 23
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