John mulaney Quotes

"Doing cocaine will not make your ex girlfriend get ba...

"Doing cocaine will not make your ex girlfriend get back together with you, but it will make her worry about you, and in the end, what's the difference?" - John Mulaney
📅︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report

“You’ll get very far in life...

“You’ll get very far in life if you just pretend to know what you’re doing” - John Mulaney
📅︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report

I don't care ...

I don't care for these new Nazis. -John Mulaney
📅︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report

Related Keywords