Jerry Quotes

"Keep your head up in fa...

"Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success." --Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13
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There’s no way to have a civil dis...

There’s no way to have a civil discussion when people can’t agree on what’s true and what isn’t. β€”Jerry Large
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16
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'Don't do anyt...

'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.' - Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18
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For those who understand, no exp...

For those who understand, no explaination is needed...For those who don't, none will do. ...Jerry Lewis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07
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If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are ...

If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they're going to think the dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge? ...Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09
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"There will come a time when mathemati...

"There will come a time when mathematical ignorance, like public smoking, will become socially unacceptable." ― Jerry King
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30
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Don't limit your ch...

Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits! - Jerry Dunn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02
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"You can tell what was the best year of your ...

"You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out." β€” Jerry Seinfeld,
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 03
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"Somebody has to do something, a...

"Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us." β€” Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29
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"If I'm going to hell, ...

"If I'm going to hell, I'm going there playing the piano." ---Jerry Lee Lewis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13
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"A bookstore is one of the only pi...

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." β€” Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18
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"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun....

"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away." - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15
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I don't know that you get to tell pe...

I don't know that you get to tell people where they can and cannot see themselves. β€”Jerry Skyler, Dear White People
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18
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"Where lipstick is concerned, the important...

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." β€” Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01
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The bible is the original comic book: fake stories to please rabid, viole...

The bible is the original comic book: fake stories to please rabid, violent fans. And if you get it wrong they’ll kill you at one of their conventions - Jerry Wallach (Bill Hader’s character in an episode of Documentary Now!)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20
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β€œToday I will do what other...

β€œToday I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't.” - Jerry Rice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07
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"But, even to fake it, it'...

"But, even to fake it, it's no different from having real confidence" - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09
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"There is no such thin...

"There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."" β€” Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18
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"Sometimes the road less ...

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22
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You can never be happily married to another unti...

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. -- Jerry McCant
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14
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"A two-year-old is kind of like...

"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it." - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07
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Vision is really what yo...

Vision is really what you see with your eyes closed and Mind open. - Jerry Goins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28
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The problem with talking is that...

The problem with talking is that nobody stops you from saying the wrong thing. β€”Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11
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"You do not merely want to be considered the ...

"You do not merely want to be considered the best at what you do, you want to be considered the only one that does what you do" -Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23
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"Looking at a cleavage is like looking at the su...

"Looking at a cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away." - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15
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Part of our human suffering is caused by our unw...

Part of our human suffering is caused by our unwillingness to change along with the changes around us. Don’t fight change. Embrace it. β€” Jerry Corsten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 18
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"Our job was not to enjoy i...

"Our job was not to enjoy it. Our job was to make sure they enjoyed it" - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31
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"Train yourself to remain calm under all circum...

"Train yourself to remain calm under all circumstances. Only in a state of tranquility can we find the way out of our predicaments." -Jerry Corsten
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07
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We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn...

We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30
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"You can't get much done in...

"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good." -Jerry West
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08
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Civilization has a natural resistance agains...

Civilization has a natural resistance against improving itself. - Motion picture - American in Paris Gene Kelly's character Jerry Mulligan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23
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"I always say that pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you st...

"I always say that pain is knowledge rushing in to fill a gap. When you stub your toe on the foot of the bed, that was a gap in knowledge. And the pain is a lot of information really quick, that's what pain is." - Jerry Seinfield
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25
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"The guy said 'you have to be ODD to be number one', not 'you hav...

"The guy said 'you have to be ODD to be number one', not 'you have to be UGLY to be number one'. You don't do ugly gandalf, you don't do garbage pail kids, and you don't go full retard." ~ Jerry Hardon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16
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"Today I will do what other...

"Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't." - Jerry Rove
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12
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"Bee Movie was definitely my favorite movie that I've starred in, because I...

"Bee Movie was definitely my favorite movie that I've starred in, because I've always wanted to be a bee. They seem to have the most organized society on earth, and they make honey! Which is a pretty amazing product." -Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04
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Instead of making something ...

Instead of making something that last forever... I think I'd rather have fun -Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24
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"You can't get much done in...

"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good." -Jerry West
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life. I have never be...

She is the most despicable woman I have ever met in my life. I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. Its like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. --Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25
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'i was sad because i had no shoes, unti...

'i was sad because i had no shoes, until i saw a man who had no feet. and then i laughed. really really hard.' - jerry blank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12
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"In any ethical situation, the th...

"In any ethical situation, the thing you want least to do is probably the right action." - Jerry Pournelle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30
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"Life is effort and I...

"Life is effort and I'll stop when I die" - Jerry from Rick & Morty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08
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"Nothing left to ...

"Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile!" -Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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"If they were really hipst...

"If they were really hipsters, how could there be so many of them?" - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23
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A lot of guys don't want to lift those weights. It's like going to ...

A lot of guys don't want to lift those weights. It's like going to the gym everyday. It's brutal. Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with. - Jerry Seinfeld on writing comedy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10
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"Jerry, just remember. It'...

"Jerry, just remember. It's not a lie if you believe it." – George Costanza (Seinfeld)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19
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In finding your passion... "your bless...

In finding your passion... "your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21
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"Without ice cream ther...

"Without ice cream there would be darkness and chaos" -Ben and Jerry's sign
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07
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"Your blessing in life is whe...

"Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with" - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13
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You ain't gonna le...

You ain't gonna learn what you don't wanna know. -Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28
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"Today I will do what other...

"Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't" -Jerry Rice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06
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"β€œHaving a Prius crushes ...

"β€œHaving a Prius crushes the human spirit, it has no joy of life” - Jerry Seinfeld
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06
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Jerry Seinfeld on Twitter: "Why say ...

Jerry Seinfeld on Twitter: "Why say a lot of things to a few people, when I can say virtually nothing to everyone."
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21
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β€œToday I will do what others w...

β€œToday I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” - Jerry Rice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23
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"If we had any nerve at all, if we had any real balls as a society, or what...

"If we had any nerve at all, if we had any real balls as a society, or whatever you need, whatever quality you need, real character, we would make an effort to really address the wrongs in this society, righteously." - Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18
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β€œToday I will do what others w...

β€œToday I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.” - Jerry Rice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11
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"But hey, when you live in Watts, you need a little smack to get by, you know what I ...

"But hey, when you live in Watts, you need a little smack to get by, you know what I mean? You need something soft and comfortable in your life, 'cause you're not going to get it from what's around you. And society isn't going to give it to you." - Jerry Garcia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05
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