Jay leno Quotes

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man t...

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak." — Jay Leno
📅︎ Mar 11
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I went to McDonalds yesterday and said "I wou...

I went to McDonalds yesterday and said "I would like some fries" The girl at the counter said, "would you like some fries with that?" Jay Leno
📅︎ Nov 09
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"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, '...

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'" — Jay Leno
📅︎ Aug 17
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"Here's something to think about: ...

"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" — Jay Leno
📅︎ Aug 02
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"Here's something to think about: ...

"Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" — Jay Leno
📅︎ Feb 13
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"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, '...

"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'" — Jay Leno
📅︎ Jan 10
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"If God had wanted us t...

"If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates." — Jay Leno
📅︎ Aug 24
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"The reason there are two senator...

"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." — Jay Leno
📅︎ Oct 26
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"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativit...

"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin." — Jay Leno
📅︎ Dec 08
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"There's nothing like getting your ass kicked to put things in perspective. You kn...

"There's nothing like getting your ass kicked to put things in perspective. You know, most people have never had the crap beat out of them. When you've had that happen to you a couple of times, you begin to appreciate the art of negotiation." — Jay Leno
📅︎ Sep 08
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"Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts,...

"Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as women grow another breast, men will want another hand." - Jay Leno
📅︎ May 29
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"Soup is just a w...

"Soup is just a way to screw you out of a meal" - Jay Leno.
📅︎ Jan 10
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"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They...

"The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets." - Jay Leno
📅︎ Sep 16
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"The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses...

"The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low — in other words, Bush is back on the job." —Jay Leno
📅︎ Sep 23
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