Henny youngman Quotes

"When I read about the e...

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." — Henny Youngman
📅︎ Feb 12
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"I told the doctor I broke my leg ...

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." — Henny Youngman
📅︎ Mar 23
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It's not true that married men ...

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. ...Henny Youngman
📅︎ Dec 08
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A doctor gave a man six months to live....

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. ...Henny Youngman
📅︎ Dec 08
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to g...

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henny Youngman
📅︎ Dec 23
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"I take my wife everywher...

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." — Henny Youngman
📅︎ Aug 11
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"I once wanted to become an a...

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." — Henny Youngman
📅︎ Feb 23
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"Americans are getting stronger. 20 years ago it ...

"Americans are getting stronger. 20 years ago it took 2 people to carry 10 dollars´ worth of groceries. Today a five-year old can do it." - Henny Youngman.
📅︎ Jan 10
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If you're going to do something ton...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. ~ Henny Youngman
📅︎ Feb 19
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“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll ...

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.” ― Henny Youngman
📅︎ Apr 25
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