Dave Quotes

"What I look forward to ...

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 04
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โ€œSometimes you gotta be a ...

โ€œSometimes you gotta be a lion so you can be the lamb you really areโ€ -Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09
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"I was too weak to giv...

"I was too weak to give in, too strong to lose" - Dave Grohl, Best Of You
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 19
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"Sometimes you have to be a l...

"Sometimes you have to be a lion, so you can be the lamb you really are" - Dave Chappelle's Mom
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08
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Where is this quo...

Where is this quote from? "You're not Dave. Who are you?"
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 19
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โ€œShow respect even to people who donโ€™t dese...

โ€œShow respect even to people who donโ€™t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.โ€ - Dave Willis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 10
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"I think Superman should go on the Larry King sh...

"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 18
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"The future is no pl...

"The future is no place to place your better days." -Dave Matthews
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 04
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โ€˜We buy things we donโ€™t need wi...

โ€˜We buy things we donโ€™t need with money we donโ€™t have to impress people we donโ€™t like.โ€™ - Dave Ramsey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 19
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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deepl...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. -- Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 16
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"Camping is nature's ...

"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 01
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"If Martin Luthur King had a s...

"If Martin Luthur King had a sneaker deal, we'd still be on the back of the bus" - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 11
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โ€œEverything is funn...

โ€œEverything is funny, until it happens to you.โ€ - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 13
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โ€œA person who is nice to yo...

โ€œA person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 11
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"The First Amendment is first for a rea...

"The First Amendment is first for a reason, the Second Amendment is just in case the first doesn't work out" - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03
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"Eagles may soar, but w...

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." -Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01
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โ€œOften, bumpy roads lead to beautiful places ...โ€ ...

โ€œOften, bumpy roads lead to beautiful places ...โ€ -- Dave Martinez (Manager, Washington Nationals, upon winning the 2019 National League Championship pennant)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 01
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"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's mes...

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 19
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โ€œIf you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the...

โ€œIf you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 23
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"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to n...

"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 19
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โ€œIt is better to be r...

โ€œIt is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.โ€ โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 25
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"Books have a unique way of stopping...

"Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Letโ€™s not forget this." - Dave Eggers
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 27
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โ€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of manki...

โ€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 22
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โ€œThe one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gend...

โ€œThe one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 14
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โ€œPeople who want to share their relig...

โ€œPeople who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 18
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โ€œHobbies of any kind are boring except to people who h...

โ€œHobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 25
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"Why do they have us all wo...

"Why do they have us all working 9-5? Because 9-6 might kill a bitch." - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 19
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โ€œNo matter what happens, so...

โ€œNo matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.โ€ โ€• Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 13
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"No matter how old you are, if...

"No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it." Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 20
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โ€œThatโ€™s one of the great things about music. Yo...

โ€œThatโ€™s one of the great things about music. You can sing a song to 85,000 people and theyโ€™ll sing it back for 85,000 different reasons.โ€ Dave Grohl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 14
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"If there's one thing I'm good at, i...

"If there's one thing I'm good at, it's gathering people together to do something fun. " Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26
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"If a system is corrupt, then the people who adhere to the sys...

"If a system is corrupt, then the people who adhere to the system and are incentivized by that system are not criminals. They are victims, and the system itself must be tried." -Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 07
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"School is learning things you don't want to know, surro...

"School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come." โ€” Dave Kellett
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 03
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"You can only be young...

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 18
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't underst...

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they're crazy." That's bullshit. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick. - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 03
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If you want something youโ€™ve n...

If you want something youโ€™ve never had,youโ€™ll have to do something youโ€™ve never done.โ€”Dave Ramsey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 08
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I'm cool with failing so long as I kn...

I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally. - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 01
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"The English language was carefully, ca...

"The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary." โ€” Dave Kellett
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 13
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"School is learning things you don't want to know, surro...

"School is learning things you don't want to know, surrounded by people you wish you didn't know, while working toward a future you don't know will ever come." โ€” Dave Kellett
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 18
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"Strippers are t...

"Strippers are the Google of the streets"-Dave Chapelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13
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"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's mes...

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 03
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"What I look forward to ...

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 09
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I love to play music. So ...

I love to play music. So why endanger that with something like drugs?- Dave Grohl
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25
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How can you care about any...

How can you care about anything when you know every god damn thing? - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 08
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Soap won't wash a...

Soap won't wash away your shame - Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 19
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โ€œOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deepl...

โ€œOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.โ€-- Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20
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โ€œIf the stakes are everything, yo...

โ€œIf the stakes are everything, youโ€™ll tell yourself anything you need to hear to survive.โ€ - Dave Chapelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 17
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"Although golf was originally restricted to we...

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." โ€” Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 21
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Rhinos a...

Rhinos are fat Unicorns ~ Dave
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 22
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"The hardest thing to do is to be...

"The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself especially when everybody is watching." - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 07
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"You know when you're young and you think your...

"You know when you're young and you think your dad is superman, but then you grow up and realize he's just a drunk who wears a cape." -Dave Attell
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 22
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An engineering prototype starts with a co...

An engineering prototype starts with a conclusion, a Design prototype starts with a curiosity. --Dave Evans (Designing Your Life)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 06
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"A window of oppor...

"A window of opportunity won't open itself." - Dave Weinbaum.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 27
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"Alright lady, Fine! Fine! You a...

"Alright lady, Fine! Fine! You are not a whore. But, you are wearing a whore's uniform." -Dave Chapelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 09
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The worst thing to call somebody is "crazy". It's dismissive. I don't under...

The worst thing to call somebody is "crazy". It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit! People are not crazy. They are strong people...Maybe the environment is a little sick. (Dave Chappelle)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20
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"So our animals canโ€™t turn around for the 2.5 years that they are in t...

"So our animals canโ€™t turn around for the 2.5 years that they are in the stalls producing piglets. I donโ€™t know who asked the sow if she wanted to turn around." -Dave Warner (National Pork Producers Council Director)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13
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Dave Grohl on American Idol a...

Dave Grohl on American Idol and The Voice (quote is too long for title, I posted in comments)
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 07
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"Well, ya know, the best thing money has done for me is ...

"Well, ya know, the best thing money has done for me is given me a false sense of security, but a false sense of security is better than no sense of security." - Dave Chappelle
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 08
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"If you can't make i...

"If you can't make it better you might as well make it worse" -Dave
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31
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Be an encourager, the...

Be an encourager, the world has plenty of critics already - Dave Willis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05
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"We buy things we don't need wi...

"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like." - Dave Ramsey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 22
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"Remove every barrier you can t...

"Remove every barrier you can to fandom. A fan will be an evangelist for your work." - Dave Kellett
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 11
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"A person who is nice to yo...

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." - Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 20
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โ€œWe buy things we don't need wi...

โ€œWe buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like.โ€ โ€• Dave Ramsey
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 22
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"In a moment of clarity, you finally understand why boxers, who want so badly to hurt each oth...

"In a moment of clarity, you finally understand why boxers, who want so badly to hurt each other, can rest their heads on the shoulders of their opponents, can lean against one another like tired lovers, so thankful for a moment of peace." -Dave Eggers, from the very short story "Accident"
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 22
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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings. --Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 21
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โ€œAnother well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de ...

โ€œAnother well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.โ€ โ€“Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 02
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"You're only young on...

"You're only young once, but you can always be immature" - Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 28
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Time management is dead; in...

Time management is dead; in our day the true struggle is focus management- Dave Crenshaw
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 29
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You can only be young ...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. --Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen an...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." -Dave Barry
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 25
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