Computer Quotes

"There is no reason for a...

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home." β€” Ken Olsen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14
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β€œFamily life is not a computer progr...

β€œFamily life is not a computer program that runs on its own; it needs continual input from everyone.” ― Neil Kurshan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19
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β€œBefore you marry a person, you should fi...

β€œBefore you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” β€”Will Ferrell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20
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"The only legitimate u...

"The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games." - Eugene Jarvis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16
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"A brain is a lot like a computer. It wi...

"A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up." - Erma Bombeck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27
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"In a few minutes a computer can make a ...

"In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it." β€” Unknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22
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β€œHuman beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at com...

β€œHuman beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.” β€” Peter Gibbons
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26
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All empires will fall; you just hav...

All empires will fall; you just have to know where to push. - some old computer game I can't remember the title
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15
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"I am rarely happier than when spending an entire day program...

"I am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand." - Douglas Adams
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 28
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"If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but to...

"If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it." β€” Pierre Gallois
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11
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Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at comput...

Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements! β€”Peter Gibbons, Office Space
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04
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Making mistakes & errors is ju...

Making mistakes & errors is just being human but to really fuck things up you need a computer. - unknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03
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"Success is more a function of consi...

"Success is more a function of consistent common sense than it is of genius." - An Wang, computer engineer, inventor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27
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"The compute...

"The computer is a moron." β€” Peter Drucker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26
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"A computer once beat me at ...

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing." - Emo Philips
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08
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"Before you marry a person, you should first...

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." β€” Will Ferrell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15
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"To err is human, but to re...

"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." β€” Farmers' Almanac
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29
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The exponential economic growth is pure fiction, which creates clouds of electrons that flow thro...

The exponential economic growth is pure fiction, which creates clouds of electrons that flow through computers masquerading as money.These electrons further concentrate wealth and do real physical harm to the Earth by generating tidal waves of capital that wash away the still functioning ecosystems
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28
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"My computer beat me at ...

"My computer beat me at chess... so I beat it at kickboxing." β€” Demetri Martin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10
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β€œI think there is a world ...

β€œI think there is a world market for about five computers.” β€”Thomas J. Watson (1943)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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"Before you marry a person, you should first...

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." β€” Will Ferrell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25
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"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the comp...

"If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside." β€” Robert X. Cringely
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26
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"We live in an age when you say casually to somebody 'What’s the story on that?' and ...

"We live in an age when you say casually to somebody 'What’s the story on that?' and they can run to the computer and tell you within five seconds. That’s fine, but sometimes I’d just as soon continue wondering. We have a deficit of wonder right now." - Tom Waits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07
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"A computer lets you make more mistakes faste...

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila" - Mitch Ratcliffe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28
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"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you ti...

"Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining." β€” Jef Raskin
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07
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β€œThe computer works...

β€œThe computer works so fast because it does not think.” β€”Unknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27
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β€œBefore you marry a person you should fir...

β€œBefore you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” ― Will Ferrell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21
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"I'm worried for the day that computers pass the Turing Test, n...

"I'm worried for the day that computers pass the Turing Test, not because they'll be getting smarter but because we will have gotten so dumb we can't tell the difference anymore." -Douglas Rushkoff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08
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"Computers will unders...

"Computers will understand sarcasm before Americans do." - Geoffrey Hinton
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15
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"There is no reason for a...

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home." β€” Ken Olsen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12
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"Not even computers will replace...

"Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers." β€” Edward Shepherd Mead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25
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I hate computers and r...

I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them. β€”the Doctor, Doctor Who
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02
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Computers in the future m...

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Popular Mechanics, 1949
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19
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"It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers ...

"It took us three years to build the NeXT computer. If we'd given customers what they said they wanted, we'd have built a computer they'd have been happy with a year after we spoke to them - not something they'd want now." - Steve Jobs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11
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"My computer beat me at ...

"My computer beat me at chess... so I beat it at kickboxing." β€” Demetri Martin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 03
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"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of ...

"Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose." β€” Andy Rooney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22
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The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you ...

The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.' -- Jason Alexander
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29
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"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its c...

"I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." Stephen Hawking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14
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"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most exp...

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents." β€” Nathaniel Borenstein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13
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Click-and-print computer files are fundamentally d...

Click-and-print computer files are fundamentally different from the written word and merit far less, if any, First Amendment protection -- A.G. Bob Ferguson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22
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"Science is what we understand well ...

"Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do." - Donald Knuth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31
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"Computers aren't the t...

"Computers aren't the thing. They are the thing that gets us to the thing."
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07
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By 2100, our destiny is to become like the gods we once worshipped and feared. But our...

By 2100, our destiny is to become like the gods we once worshipped and feared. But our tools will not be magic wands and potions but the science of computers, nanotechnology, artificial intelligence, biotechnology, and most of all, the quantum theory. ― Michio Kaku
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06
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"Real freedom is having a pornogr...

"Real freedom is having a pornographic wallpaper on your computer and not worrying about it." -Alan Smithee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03
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Only computer g...

Only computer geeks know what it means to be /kicked
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08
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If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a ...

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. - Robert X. Cringely (a.k.a. Mark Stephens)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04
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"I think it says something about human nature that the only fo...

"I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far [computer viruses] are purely destructive. We've created life in our own image." β€” Stephen Hawking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23
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"If, for some reason, we make some big mistake and IBM...

"If, for some reason, we make some big mistake and IBM wins, my personal feeling is that we are going to enter a computer Dark Ages for about twenty years." - Steve Jobs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01
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A computer once beat me at ...

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Emo Philips
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07
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'Comics are like boobs. They lo...

'Comics are like boobs. They look great on a computer, but I'd rather hold one in my hand' - Stan Lee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25
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Computers are better than ...

Computers are better than humans, they don't lie, they don't cheat and don't pretend.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18
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"No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain. A...

"No, I'm not interested in developing a powerful brain. All I'm after is just a mediocre brain, something like the President of AT&T." - Alan Turing, Inventor of the Computer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13
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"If the machine is becoming too ...

"If the machine is becoming too powerfull, just pull the plug" - Konrad Zuse, Inventor of the computer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31
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"I think there is a world marke...

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, president of IBM, 1943
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21
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"To err is human; to rea...

"To err is human; to really foul things up requires a computer." β€” BILL VAUGHAN
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28
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I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says somethin...

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. -- Stephen Hawking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25
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"Until now, citizens were protected from many incursions of bur...

"Until now, citizens were protected from many incursions of bureaucracy because of its sluggishness. Now there's computers that do it all in milliseconds..." - Konrad Zuse, inventor of the computer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25
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"Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing th...

"Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes." Holly (Primary Computer aboard the Red Dwarf)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28
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There are 3 possibilities to ruin a company: With woma...

There are 3 possibilities to ruin a company: With woman, this is the most charming one. With gaming, this is the quickest one. Or with computers, this is the safest one.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02
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Never trust a c...

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23
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Computers are like Old Tes...

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. - Joseph Campbell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07
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A computer would deserve to be called i...

A computer would deserve to be called intelligent if it could deceive a human into believing that it was human. - Alan Turing
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07
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Computers are usel...

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.β€”Picasso
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10
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