Bill maher Quotes

"I always say nowhere you can bring...

"I always say nowhere you can bring a chicken on a bus." - Bill Maher on countries he has no interest in visiting
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15
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"I’m not saying you have to read the bible religiously, but if you’r...

"I’m not saying you have to read the bible religiously, but if you’re going to use it to tell other people who to vote for, who to kill, who they can marry and where they can crap, you probably do." - Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06
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"It's gonna be great: when a B-list actress marries ...

"It's gonna be great: when a B-list actress marries a man who will never be king in a country that doesn't even matter." ~ Bill Maher on Meghan and Hary's wedding
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19
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Banning a hobo costume doesn't ...

Banning a hobo costume doesn't make the homeless feel better, it makes you feel better β€” Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05
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"Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonym...

"Funny that all of Nixon's crimes - anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars - are all legal now. Discuss." - Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions:...

The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity - mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism - mumbling to the wall, Islam - mumbling to the floor. Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12
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OJ has killed m...

OJ has killed more Americans than Ebola - Bill Maher.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03
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"If you have a gun, you can rob...

"If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone." - Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11
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We comedians hate it when we make a serious point...

We comedians hate it when we make a serious point and somebody says "You're a comedian." Yes, we're comedians and we can also make good points. β€”Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19
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"Scientists say Hurricane Sandy likely linked to reco...

"Scientists say Hurricane Sandy likely linked to record Arctic Sea [ice] loss this year but fuck them they're just scientists. What does the bible say?" - Bill Maher
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01
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