Beer Quotes

Beer to ...

Beer to liquor makes you sicker.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28
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"Now is time for ...

"Now is time for beer and heavy metal, yes?" ~Joakim BrodΓ©n
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 12
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"Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply...

"Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left!" -Barnard Arnold "Barney" Gumble
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25
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β€œThe best thing about...

β€œThe best thing about free speech is that it usually comes with beer”
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14
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Quote 1: "The best thing about free speech is that ...

Quote 1: "The best thing about free speech is that it usually comes with beer." -- me Quote 2: "Free speech isn't free, it takes a BAC of at least 0.08." -- me
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14
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I wrote a $2.5 million check for vehicular manslaughter when Razzle died. I should ha...

I wrote a $2.5 million check for vehicular manslaughter when Razzle died. I should have gone to prison. I definitely deserved to go to prison. But I did 30 days in jail and got laid and drank beer, because that's the power of cash. That's fucked up. -Vince Neil
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01
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β€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of manki...

β€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22
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"just remember, at the end if t...

"just remember, at the end if the day the beers are always cold." Some dude at a bean-bag tournament
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30
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"Nothing ever tasted better than a cold bee...

"Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same." - Hugh Hood
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14
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β€œGive a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a da...

β€œGive a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.” - George Carlin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15
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"This beer is good. This beer is cold. This beer is good and cold. How muc...

"This beer is good. This beer is cold. This beer is good and cold. How much beer is left? I hope we dont run out of beer.I'm gonna go get more beer, just in case. Hey everybody, Beer Run!!" ~Everyone at drunken party, circa 1995
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09
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"Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfacti...

"Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer." - Tom Robbins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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"WE ARE HERE TA' DRINK YOUR BEER, AND STEAL YOUR R...

"WE ARE HERE TA' DRINK YOUR BEER, AND STEAL YOUR RUM AT THE POINT OF A GUN. YOUR ALCOHOL, TA' US WILL FALL, 'CAUSE WE ARE HERE TO DRINK YOUR BEER" -Alestorm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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If you sent American beer out to be analy...

If you sent American beer out to be analyzed, the lab would probably phone up and say 'your horse has diabetes'. - Sharyn McCrumb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07
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"We are here to dri...

"We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war." -Bukowski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31
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"Only in America can you...

"Only in America can you drive a tank before you can drink a beer" - My father
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22
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β€œWhoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoeve...

β€œWhoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!” ― Martin Luther
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13
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"Liquor and ...

"Liquor and beer make us bicker and leer."
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20
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β€œIn wine there is wisdom, in b...

β€œIn wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.” -David Auerbach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09
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"Marriage is like sharing a root be...

"Marriage is like sharing a root beer float or agreeing to be the back end of a horse costume." -Lemony Snicket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 11
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"We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. W...

"We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." - Charles Bukowski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21
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"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airl...

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline--it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." -Frank Zappa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19
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"I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educ...

"I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” ― Charles Bukowski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11
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"Buy a man a beer, and he wastes a...

"Buy a man a beer, and he wastes an hour. Teach a man to brew, and he wastes a lifetime." β€” Charles Papazian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28
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"Beer is living proof th...

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" -Ben Franklin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25
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"There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or t...

"There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.” β€”Charles Bukowski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12
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"I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm...

"I'm not saying you're ugly, I'm just saying you're about eight beers away from being my type." -unknown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26
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" Not all girls are made of Sugar and Spice a...

" Not all girls are made of Sugar and Spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of adventure, fine beer, brains and no fear". - Anonymous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06
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Beer makes you feel th...

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. - Henry Lawson
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24
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"I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church,state,and our educati...

"I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church,state,and our education system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us." - Charles Bukowski 1920-1994
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20
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β€œIn wine there is wisdom, in be...

β€œIn wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” ― Benjamin Franklin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen an...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." -Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25
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"Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where bea...

"Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aspen." Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24
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β€œThat’s what’s cool about working with comput...

β€œThat’s what’s cool about working with computers. They don’t argue, they remember everything, and they don’t drink all your beer.” - Paul Leary
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05
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At the end of the day, it is nice to si...

At the end of the day, it is nice to sit back with a cold beer and reflect that the world isn't entirely composed of morons.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26
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β€œMilk is for babies. When ...

β€œMilk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.” Arnold Schwarzenegger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07
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It is not the machine that uses us. Man is not de-humanised by good tools th...

It is not the machine that uses us. Man is not de-humanised by good tools that are the inventions of his own brain. Inhumanity arrives in a place such as this only when power is wrongly placed, and people are exploited. -Stafford Beer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23
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"In my opinion, most of the great men of the past ...

"In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer - the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power." A. J. P. Taylor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19
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β€œBeer makes you feel th...

β€œBeer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer” ― Henry Lawson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10
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Voltaire on the English, "They are l...

Voltaire on the English, "They are like their beer - froth at the top, dregs at the bottom, the middle excellent."
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25
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"Not all chemicals are bad. - Without chemicals such a...

"Not all chemicals are bad. - Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02
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"I think all it really takes for differ...

"I think all it really takes for different people to get along is a common rooting interest and a few beers." - Matthew Quick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29
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Give Me a Woman Who ...

Give Me a Woman Who Loves Beer and I Will Conquer. - Kaiser Wl Helm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12
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"Beer is proof that God loves us...

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." β€” apocryphally credited to Benjamin Franklin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26
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"A good beer should have a nice body, taste good on your...

"A good beer should have a nice body, taste good on your lips, and go down easy. The same goes for a good woman too." - Robert Tanney (My grandpa shortly before he passed away)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19
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"Grant me the stubbornness to change what I can, the lazine...

"Grant me the stubbornness to change what I can, the laziness to accept what I cannot, and enough beer to sit around and endlessly discuss the difference between the two." - Dick Dunn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29
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"God made beer because h...

"God made beer because he loves us and wants us to be happy" -Benjamin Franklin.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04
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Scientists are a friendly, atheistic, hard-working, beer-dr...

Scientists are a friendly, atheistic, hard-working, beer-drinking lot whose minds are preoccupied with sex, chess and baseball when they are not preoccupied with science. ― Yann Martel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20
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My life perspective has been changed: Instead of assumin...

My life perspective has been changed: Instead of assuming I'm a brain in a vat, I now believe I'm a brain in a beer vat. My confusion makes much more sense. - Norton Mansfield
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17
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We're nearing the end of 2014 and I almost died t...

We're nearing the end of 2014 and I almost died this year. If i have another beer I'll probably have a headache tomorrow, but I think I can live with that.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28
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