Bathroom Quotes

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle ...

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home. ...Rodney Dangerfield
📅︎ Feb 10
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"If people are determined to be offended - if they will climb up on the ladder, balanci...

"If people are determined to be offended - if they will climb up on the ladder, balancing it precariously on their own toilet cistern to be upset by what they see through the neighbour's bathroom window - there is nothing you can do about that." -- Christopher Hitchens
📅︎ May 26
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I am philosophically opposed to quota-systems. . . . It is one thing to say th...

I am philosophically opposed to quota-systems. . . . It is one thing to say that you cannot keep a black man from using this bathroom, and something quite different to say that one out of every five people who use this bathroom must be black.
📅︎ Jul 17
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"Think of the Web as ...

"Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker."
📅︎ Mar 11
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"The best measure of a man's honesty isn'...

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale." — Arthur C. Clarke
📅︎ Feb 26
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"We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about...

"We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future, when a month ago they had to ask to go to the bathroom." -Adam Kotsko
📅︎ Jul 16
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“In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next t...

“In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget.”- Tom Hanks
📅︎ Aug 26
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"A house with 5 bathrooms is nice, but I fou...

"A house with 5 bathrooms is nice, but I found out that no matter how hard I try I can only sit on one toilet at a time." Oliver Brandhouse
📅︎ Jan 28
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When our bathroom scale delivers bad news we hop off & on again just to make sure we didn't misrea...

When our bathroom scale delivers bad news we hop off & on again just to make sure we didn't misread the display. When it delivers good news, we smile & head for the shower. By uncritically accepting evidence when it pleases us & insisting on more when it doesn't we subtly tip the scales in our favor
📅︎ Oct 31
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"Most Things Go Unnot...

"Most Things Go Unnoticed." - University of New Orleans bathroom door
📅︎ Jun 25
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Three things to remember as you get old; ...

Three things to remember as you get old; Never pass up a bathroom. Never waste a hard-on. And never trust a fart.- Jack Nicholson.
📅︎ Sep 23
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"I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I never thought a picture o...

"I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I never thought a picture of my body would be tacked up in men's bathrooms. I hate men looking at me and thinking what they think. And I know what they think. They write and tell me." — Lynda Carter, aka Wonder Woman
📅︎ Jan 02
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"Secret to a long ...

"Secret to a long marriage? Seperate bathrooms." -Johnny Cash
📅︎ Jan 31
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"At a formal dinner party, the person...

"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom." - George Carlin
📅︎ Jun 11
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"When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go ...

"When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don’t go. I’m too worried to go. I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go." - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
📅︎ Aug 08
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“I didn’t get a bathroom door th...

“I didn’t get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at business” -- Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
📅︎ Apr 13
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