Bathroom Quotes

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle ...

They took a survey: Why do men get up in the middle of the night? Ten percent get up to go to the bathroom and 90 percent get up to go home. ...Rodney Dangerfield
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 10
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"If people are determined to be offended - if they will climb up on the ladder, balanci...

"If people are determined to be offended - if they will climb up on the ladder, balancing it precariously on their own toilet cistern to be upset by what they see through the neighbour's bathroom window - there is nothing you can do about that." -- Christopher Hitchens
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 26
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I am philosophically opposed to quota-systems. . . . It is one thing to say th...

I am philosophically opposed to quota-systems. . . . It is one thing to say that you cannot keep a black man from using this bathroom, and something quite different to say that one out of every five people who use this bathroom must be black.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 17
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"Think of the Web as ...

"Think of the Web as a big bathroom wall. And everyone has a marker."
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 11
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"The best measure of a man's honesty isn'...

"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale." โ€” Arthur C. Clarke
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26
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"We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about...

"We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future, when a month ago they had to ask to go to the bathroom." -Adam Kotsko
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 16
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โ€œIn the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next t...

โ€œIn the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said โ€˜looks like weโ€™re a couple of peeing Toms.โ€™ His angry silence is something Iโ€™ll never forget.โ€- Tom Hanks
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 26
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"A house with 5 bathrooms is nice, but I fou...

"A house with 5 bathrooms is nice, but I found out that no matter how hard I try I can only sit on one toilet at a time." Oliver Brandhouse
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 28
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When our bathroom scale delivers bad news we hop off & on again just to make sure we didn't misrea...

When our bathroom scale delivers bad news we hop off & on again just to make sure we didn't misread the display. When it delivers good news, we smile & head for the shower. By uncritically accepting evidence when it pleases us & insisting on more when it doesn't we subtly tip the scales in our favor
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 31
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"Most Things Go Unnot...

"Most Things Go Unnoticed." - University of New Orleans bathroom door
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 25
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Three things to remember as you get old; ...

Three things to remember as you get old; Never pass up a bathroom. Never waste a hard-on. And never trust a fart.- Jack Nicholson.
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 23
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"I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I never thought a picture o...

"I never meant to be a sexual object for anyone but my husband. I never thought a picture of my body would be tacked up in men's bathrooms. I hate men looking at me and thinking what they think. And I know what they think. They write and tell me." โ€” Lynda Carter, aka Wonder Woman
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 02
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"Secret to a long ...

"Secret to a long marriage? Seperate bathrooms." -Johnny Cash
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 31
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"At a formal dinner party, the person...

"At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom." - George Carlin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 11
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"When I really worry about something, I donโ€™t just fool around. I even have to go ...

"When I really worry about something, I donโ€™t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I donโ€™t go. Iโ€™m too worried to go. I donโ€™t want to interrupt my worrying to go." - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 08
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โ€œI didnโ€™t get a bathroom door th...

โ€œI didnโ€™t get a bathroom door that looks like a wall by being bad at businessโ€ -- Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 13
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