Barry Quotes

"What I look forward to ...

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 04
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"I think Superman should go on the Larry King sh...

"I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18
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Everything we have come to c...

Everything we have come to call the arts seems to be in almost every 3-year old. Lynda Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11
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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deepl...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. -- Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16
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"Camping is nature's ...

"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01
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β€œA person who is nice to yo...

β€œA person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11
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"Eagles may soar, but w...

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." -Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01
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"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's mes...

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 19
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β€œIf you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the...

β€œIf you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23
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"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to n...

"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19
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β€œIt is better to be r...

β€œIt is better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.” β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25
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β€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of manki...

β€œWithout question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22
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We don’t create a fantasy worl...

We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay. -Lynda Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13
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β€œThe one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gend...

β€œThe one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14
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β€œPeople who want to share their relig...

β€œPeople who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18
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β€œNo matter what happens, so...

β€œNo matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13
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β€œHobbies of any kind are boring except to people who h...

β€œHobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.” ― Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25
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"You can only be young...

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18
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"Some people are born on third base and go thro...

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Unkown Author, but frequently misattributed to Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28
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We only break the r...

We only break the rules to help people. β€”Barry Allen, The Flash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15
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"Love is an explod...

"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." β€” Lynda Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28
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"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's mes...

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03
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"And you tell me over and over and over an...

"And you tell me over and over and over and over again my friend, you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction." ~Barry McGuire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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"Nothing eve...

"Nothing ever goes away." β€” Barry Commoner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23
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"What I look forward to ...

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09
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In the old days, the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "H...

In the old days, the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or to atheists "Look out for the wall!"-D, Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21
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β€œOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deepl...

β€œOnce again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”-- Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20
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Some people are born on 3rd ba...

Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. - Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22
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"Although golf was originally restricted to we...

"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." β€” Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21
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"Some people are born on third ...

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." -Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27
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"Some people are born on third ...

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15
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The way we choose to see ...

The way we choose to see the world creates the world we see. - Barry Neil Kaufman
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10
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"Some people are born on third ...

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11
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"The ache of every man to touch his potential is the ...

"The ache of every man to touch his potential is the throb that beats out the truth of the American Declaration of Independence and the Constitution." – Marion Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03
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"Every mountain top is...

"Every mountain top is within reach if you keep climbing." - Barry Finlay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29
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"Some people are born on third ...

"Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." - Barry Switzer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11
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β€œWhen the mob gains the day, it ceases to be ...

β€œWhen the mob gains the day, it ceases to be any longer the mob. It is then called the nation.” – Napoleon to Dr. Barry O’Meara on St. Helena
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08
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"A person who is nice to yo...

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20
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The secret of happ...

The secret of happiness is low expectations ~ Barry Schwartz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13
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If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings. --Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21
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"Sometimes the only way to move forward is to revisit the things in your past that were...

"Sometimes the only way to move forward is to revisit the things in your past that were holding you back. You have to deal with them head on no matter how scary they may be. Because once we do, you'll seen that you can go further than you ever imagined." - Barry Allen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30
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"You're only young on...

"You're only young once, but you can always be immature" - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28
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β€œAnother well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de ...

β€œAnother well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it.” –Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02
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"If you don’t love America why don’t you g...

"If you don’t love America why don’t you get out?" ..... "Because I don’t want to be a victim of its foreign policy!" - Barry Crimmins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen an...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." -Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25
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You can only be young ...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. --Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03
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β€œCertainty creates strength. Certainty gives one something upon which to lean. Uncertai...

β€œCertainty creates strength. Certainty gives one something upon which to lean. Uncertainty creates weakness. Uncertainty makes one tentative if not fearful, and tentative steps, even when in the right direction, may not overcome significant obstacles." -John M. Barry.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04
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""What I look forward to ...

""What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." --Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26
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"Everyone secretly thinks they've figured out what their life i...

"Everyone secretly thinks they've figured out what their life is gonna be like, but what no one ever considers is that life has its own plans for you, whether you like them or not." - Barry Allen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29
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"A person who is nice to yo...

"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02
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Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that...

Computers are getting smarter all the time. Scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (And by β€˜they’, I mean β€˜computers’. I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04
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"Not all chemicals are bad. - Without chemicals such a...

"Not all chemicals are bad. - Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02
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"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on a...

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03
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"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." - Dave Barry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29
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