Ambrose bierce Quotes

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or b...

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10
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"Politics, n. Strife of inte...

"Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27
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"Politeness, n. The...

"Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16
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"The covers of thi...

"The covers of this book are too far apart." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 02
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"In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last...

"In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first." --Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24
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"Barometer, n.: An ingenious instr...

"Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13
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β€œLottery: A tax on ...

β€œLottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.” ― Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20
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"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum ...

"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)" β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17
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"Brain: an apparatus...

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13
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BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity i...

BACCHUS, n. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. -Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11
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"Calamities are of two kinds: m...

"Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02
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"There is nothing new under the...

"There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 17
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"Politics, n. Strife of inte...

"Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22
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β€œLove, n. A temporary...

β€œLove, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” ― Ambrose Bierce,
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16
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Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the uni...

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. -- Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23
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"Quotation, n: The act of r...

"Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04
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CHILDHOOD - The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy ...

CHILDHOOD - The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth β€” two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age. -- Ambrose Bierce - Devil's Dictionary
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01
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"I like many things in this world and a few persons- I like you, for example; but after they ...

"I like many things in this world and a few persons- I like you, for example; but after they are served I have no love to waste upon the irreclaimable mass of brutality that we know as "mankind." Compassion, yes; I am sincerely sorry that they are brutes." - Ambrose Bierce in a letter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01
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"Barometer, n.: An ingenious instr...

"Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10
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"The covers of thi...

"The covers of this book are too far apart." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19
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Marriage, n. A community consisting...

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12
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"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we k...

"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29
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Admiration, n. Our polite rec...

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. ~Ambrose Bierce.
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting ...

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. ~Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08
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"Brain: an apparatus...

"Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 01
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β€œAll are lunatics, but he who ...

β€œAll are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.” - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05
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β€œBirth, n.: The firs...

β€œBirth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters.” - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 31
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Speak when you are angry and ...

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11
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"Politeness; n. The...

"Politeness; n. The most acceptable hypocrisy." -- Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20
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"Doubt is the f...

"Doubt is the father of invention." - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29
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"In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last...

"In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first." - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27
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"I exercise extreme self control. ...

"I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast." - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 04
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"Speak when you are angry and ...

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." -Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26
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β€œQuotation, n: The act of r...

β€œQuotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.” ― Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19
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"POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a con...

"POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1906)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06
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"Love, n. A temporary...

"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24
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Sweater, n.: garment worn ...

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. -Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26
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"PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whomβ€” and of who...

"PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whomβ€” and of whom onlyβ€” it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary (1906)
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06
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Faith: Belief without evidence in what i...

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12
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"Ocean: A body of water occupying...

"Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills." - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25
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"Bore: Someone who deprives you of solitud...

"Bore: Someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with companionship." - - - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03
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"A total abstainer is one who abstains from ev...

"A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others." - Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17
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"Speak when you are angry and y...

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." β€” Ambrose Bierce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12
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